


Panic! at the Analogical

by Lilfella



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Kissing, M/M, Mention of Death, Mention of car crashes, Mention of sex, Mild Negative Thinking, Rated T for Virgil's potty mouth, Someone Help Them, Useless Gays, mild anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 01:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20537753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilfella/pseuds/Lilfella
Summary: This is in response to the following ask: “idk about you, but too often i see virgil be the meek one, the shy one, the one reluctant to be in any relationship out of fear. but like, here's a concept... Virgil's anxiety making him do something out of impulse out of fear of not getting another chance to do it. Like... kissing Logan right on the lips during a Moment(tm) for example.”I hope this is what you’re looking for!!





	Panic! at the Analogical

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks!! This is a result of an ask on Tumblr, so feel free to drop by! [You can find me at Lilfellasblog](https://lilfellasblog.tumblr.com/)! I had a lot of fun writing this one! It gets a little cracky at points, but I think it's kind of a fun mood for the fic and the ask!
> 
> [You can find it here on Tumblr!](https://lilfellasblog.tumblr.com/post/187544477520/panic-at-the-analogical)

“Salutations, Roman, Patton. Good morning Virgil.”

Virgil jumped and almost choked on his coffee. He turned his head towards where Logan had sat down with his own coffee at the table. The Sides were getting together for breakfast, and Logan had his tablet, ready for their morning rundown of the day’s schedule.

“Mornin’ Logan,” he mumbled, not making eye contact, his cheeks burning.

Virgil made the coffee, Patton had made a quiche with pancakes and bacon as side dishes, and Roman “helping” by shamelessly flirting with Patton. The two had gotten together three months ago and had been sickeningly sweet with each other ever since. Virgil teased them for it and pretended to be nauseated by the displays, but in reality he was happy for them. They were great for each other.

Logan finished before the other Sides, surprising no one. Somehow, he always beat out the other Sides, even Roman during steak night! Roman had pouted until Patton had placed little kisses all over his face.

The logical Side washed his hands and placed his dishes in the sink, pulled out his tablet, and adjusted his glasses.

_How does Logan make adjusting his glasses so fucking sexy? I’m too gay to exist, oh my god I need help._

Logan cleared his throat, and Virgil was about to discorporate, he was sure of it.

“Alright, Thomas has a rather busy day up until 5:30 PM, when he will make dinner and relax for the evening. Immediately after breakfast, he will need to drive to the office for a remote business meeting with Marvel to discuss screenwriting. Virgil nodded towards Logan to acknowledge him, knowing Thomas would have to be alert to drive.

_Oh god, 40,000 people die in car accidents every year in America, what if Thomas dies in a car accident on his way to the office? What if he doesn’t get the deal with Marvel? What if he never gets to see his friends and family again?! What if he dies before I can ask Logan out?! What if- wait, what?It’s okay, it’s okay. Thomas is a good driver. It’ll be okay, I’m okay-_

“Virgil? Are you alright?”

Virgil met Logan’s concerned gaze. His deep, espresso eyes were focused on him, but they weren’t as hard and intense as usual. They were gentle, warm, rich, captivating…

_I’m not okay._

“Yeah L, sorry. Just started thinking about car accidents and stuff. Sorry, I’m good.”

“If you’re sure,” Logan said slowly, gaze never wavering, soft but penetrating.

Virgil smiled shakily at him. “I am. I’ll be fine.”

Logan gave him a quick nod, dropping the conversation. “Alright. As I was saying, after the meeting…”

Logan proceeded to go through the entire day, each of the Sides jumping in and either asking questions or giving more information. Dark, anxious thoughts continued to plague Virgil, his heart rate increasing and his hands shaking slightly.

_In a second, we could just be… gone. Like that. With our opportunities gone, we wouldn’t be able to do anything else, experience anything new..._

“And finally, like I said, Thomas should have time for a relaxing evening, so we should be able to relax as well.”

“What are you doing?!” Virgil blurted out in a panic.

The only indication Logan gave of being surprised was a twitch of his eyebrows. “I’m going over Thomas’ schedule for today.”

Virgil bit his lip and looked down, his face on fire. _Maybe this is how spontaneous human combustion works. But we’re Sides, would it even work like that? Wait, shit, talking to Logan, focus._

“I mean, this evening. What are you doing this evening?”

“Ah. I was intending on re-reading a few astronomy textbooks, but I would be amenable to spending the evening in your presence if you so desire.”

_Oh. Oh shit. He said he wanted to hang out with me. What do I do? Fuckfuckfuckfuck what do I do what do I do what do I do…_

“Dope!” Virgil finger-gunned at Logan and immediately wanted to melt into a puddle and cease to exist.

Logan huffed out a laugh and sent Virgil a rare half-smile. While Virgil waited for the static to fade from his ears, Logan wrapped up the rest of the daily review and the others finished breakfast, Virgil having heard nothing after he ruined any chance he had with Logan.

“Oh, and Virgil?”

Virgil looked up at Logan, eyes wide.

Logan smiled softly. “I’m looking forward to tonight,” he said before he walked out of the kitchen.

Virgil felt like he was floating. _Was that flirting? Was Logan flirting with me? Was **I** flirting with Logan? Oh SHIT, is this a date?!_

Virgil sank out to his room and flopped on his bed, panicking but doing his best to keep that from his Host. He spent the rest of the day masterfully avoiding thinking about his maybe-date with Logan, only for that to blow up in his face during dinner, because Logan was at dinner, and the date was after dinner, and _oh god is this even a **date**?! Should I be wearing something different?! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-_

“Salutations Patton, Roman. Good evening Virgil.”

Virgil’s voice cracked as he replied, “Hey!”

_I’m gonna die alone._

Dinner passed relatively smoothly, Roman and Patton exchanging glances, with Patton blushing and giggling, and Roman grinning and looking Patton up and down.

Logan, as always, finished before everyone else, and Virgil _still_ had no idea what to do, even though he had suggested they hang out!

“Virgil, would you like to hang out in one of our rooms or out in the living room this evening?”

Virgil thought about the options. _My room has terrible lighting, and what if Logan still wants to read tonight? The living room might have Patton and Roman making out in it, so no._

“Your room?”

“Very well. I’ll see you after dinner.”

Virgil smiled and nodded as Logan left, screaming on the inside.

“Oooooooo do you have a date?!” Patton asked excitedly.

Virgil blushed and hunched his shoulders. “No, We’re just hanging out. It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” Roman teased.

Virgil just silently pushed his chicken picatta around on his plate.

Roman sighed. “Regardless of whether or not it’s a date, would you _want_ it to be a date?”

Virgil looked at Roman out of the corner of his eye. He looked sincere enough…

“Dunno.”

Patton tilted his head. “You don’t want to be dating Logan? I thought it was pretty obvious you two liked each other. Is that wrong?”

Virgil felt like he got electrocuted. “Wait, what?! Logan wants to…” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

Patton giggled. “It’s so obvious!! He smiles so cutely at you, he acts so cute around you, he’s _just so cute around you!!!_”

Virgil cracked a smile at Patton’s enthusiasm. Roman squared his shoulders.

“So do you want this to be a date or not?”

Virgil ducked his head. “Dunno.” _I can’t tell him I can’t tell him I can’t tell him I can’t tell him…_

Roman sighed dramatically. “Such a burden is being the romantic Side.”

Patton smiled innocently up at him. “Maybe I could ease your burden tonight, my king?”

Virgil shoveled the rest of his chicken and roasted vegetables into his mouth and nearly ran out of the kitchen.

Roman raised his eyebrows at Patton. “Nice. Thought he’d never go see Logan.”

Patton stretched, Roman watching the movement. “I said that for two reasons.” Patton leveled Roman with an intentional look. They both stood and sank out to Roman’s room.

/////

Virgil stared at the pristine dark blue door in front of him, the same one he’d been staring at for 10 minutes.

_Come on you coward, fucking knock on the door already._

Virgil had gone to his room to brush his teeth, just in case because _what if Logan thought he always had bad breath and was disgusted by him and never wanted to see him again-_

Virgil nearly hit the ceiling when the door opened.

“Hello Virgil,” Logan said, eyes warm.

“How’d you know I was out here?” _Nice, smooth, **great** response._

Logan was unfazed. “I saw your shadow outside my door. I thought you might be nervous. Would you like to come in?”

Virgil nodded. Logan stepped to the side, and Virgil walked in the room. Everything was neat, in order, perfect. Virgil was suddenly very glad he didn’t suggest his own room.

“Is there an activity you had in mind for this evening, or would you just like to be in each other’s presences while we relaxed on our own?”

Virgil looked at Logan, studying his face carefully. Logan was relaxed, which was very different from his pinched look when he was trying to restrain emotions.

“Wanna look at stars? You mentioned you had some textbooks on that?”

Logan’s eyes got a mischievous twinkle. “I can do better than that.” He waved his hand, his room grew dark, and suddenly his ceiling was the full night sky.

“_Holy shit!!!_”

Virgil thought he saw Logan’s chest puff out.

“Thank you. I worked to ensure this sky is accurate. Would you like to lay down on a blanket?”

Virgil looked down, and sure enough there was a blanket. It was a blue plaid and Virgil thought he saw lavender in there, but he figured it must just be from the dim light. He wordlessly laid down, crossing his arms behind his head. Logan laid down next to him, only a few inches apart.

“If you’ll look right above us, you’ll see Cassiopeia. The constellation has a very interesting story.”

Logan went over every single visible constellation, and Virgil was enraptured. Logan explained everything in such detail and with such passion that he couldn’t help but watch Logan more than the night sky. Everything was going great, until his anxiety decided to be an asshole.

“Is this a date?” he asked on impulse. Logan’s face turned towards him as Virgil astral projected from sheer gay panic.

“Would you like it to be?” Logan asked quietly. It took Virgil a few seconds to process the question thanks to the aforementioned astral projection, but once he did he felt all of the blood leave his body, turning his skin to ice.

“I, um, what about you?”

Logan took a deep breath. “If that something that you’d be interested in, then I would like that.”

Virgil froze. _Huh. Okay. That’s new._ “What… what do we do?”

Logan looked unsure of himself. “It depends. Do you indeed want this to be a date?”

_Oh right, I should probably answer his question._ “I, uh… yeah. Yeah I do.”

Logan’s entire body relaxed. “I am ecstatic to hear that, Virgil. Now what did you mean by your question?”

Virgil felt his chest tightening with fear. “Do we have to kiss? Do you have sex on the first date? I don’t want to disappoint or frustrate or tease you or anything and-”

“Breathe darling.”

And _okay, how do you expect me to breathe when you use nicknames like that?!_ Virgil obediently went through a breathing exercise before Logan spoke again.

“I do not personally want to engage in coitus on the first date, and I certainly don’t want to if you don’t want to. As for kissing, I would be very receptive to the act, but again, only if you want to.”

_Car crashes, 40,000 deaths in America alone from car accidents per year, cows, lightning, sharks, fires, hurricanes…_

_Do it you coward!_

Virgil surged forward and kissed Logan. Logan froze in surprise, before moving his lips and reciprocating the kiss.

_Why the fuck did you do that?!_

_You told me to do it!_

_I didn’t think you’d actually do it!!_

Virgil pulled back. “I’m sorry, you said you were okay with it and I wasn’t sure if we’d get another chance and-”

Virgil was cut off as Logan pulled him in for another kiss. And another. And another.

Afterwards, Logan pulled Virgil onto his chest and continued talking about the night sky. When Virgil fell asleep, he waved his hand and turned the area back into his bedroom, him and Virgil on the bed. Logan carefully covered Virgil with the blanket and put his glasses on the nightstand.

“Goodnight, Virgil.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
